Wife Goes On
Barnes & Noble
Published by: Kensington
Release Date: March 1, 2008
Sex In The City meets First Wives Club – with a modern twist. Whether you are single, married, or divorced, this story of friendship and second acts will inspire you with humor, heart and hope.
Wife Goes On is the story of four real women who are not in search of Prince Charming. They’ve been there…and are done with that. Despite the differences between a city lawyer, a Hollywood actress, a PTA President, and a midwestern homecoming queen, these women deal with children, jobs, and the new joys of sex. They find that the one thing they have in common—the D word—is more than enough to help each other launch their sizzling second acts. Over one significant summer, the new friends ditch the fairy tale and learn to live happier ever after.
From the challenges of rental apartments and restraining orders, the perils of motherhood and makeovers, scary firsts of dining alone and dating again, to the reality of losing old friends and finding new jobs, with a dash of sex toys and celebrities, this story is about four women learning what really makes them happy – and how to go after it. Wife Goes On proves that being alone is not the same as being lonely. Husbands may come and go, but friends are forever.
“A celebration of second acts wrapped up in a humorous homage to the power of friendship.”
-Arianna Huffington, Thrive
“Leslie Lehr is a truth teller – a rare writer who untangles the realities of women’s lives without flinching, while making you laugh, cry, and nod in understanding with every word.”
-Leslie Morgan Steiner, The Naked Truth
“A modern mix of Sex & the City and First Wives Club, this is serious fiction wrapped with a chick lit bow. Lehr keeps the plot moving with madcap hijinks and tender moments.”
“Wife Goes On is a tantalizing romp through the world of the newly divorced featuring a group of women who are vulnerable, smart, resourceful, wonderfully resilient, and wickedly funny. Anyone who’s been through a bad breakup will recognize the heartaches and triumphs that rise from these pages.”
-Hope Edelman, Motherless Daughters
“A hopeful romp of sex, humor and friendship.”
-Bruce Bauman, And the Word Was
“Like Olivia Goldsmith before her, Leslie Lehr has done the impossible: She’s made divorce into a winning, funny, and inspiring activity, if one fraught with the sadness of mistakes made and lives changed. Wife Goes On isn’t fictionalized self-help or mundane chick-lit; it’s about loving, escaping, and living again.”
-Tod Goldberg, Gangster Nation
“Sexy and fabulous!”
-Jerrilyn Farmer, Madeline Bean Mysteries
“Underlying the sass and verve of Lehr’s prose are trenchant insights on relationships, friendships and motherhood–not to mention the kind of wisdom that comes from hard knocks plus a few good laughs!” -Samantha Dunn, Faith in Carlos Gomez
Did it ever occur to you that “wife” is a four letter word? The first time I cringed at the sound of it, I knew my marriage was over. But I refused to get a divorce. Maybe it was partly my fault for devoting so much to my kids and to the asshole snoring next me that there was nothing left. But this was no starter marriage. Sure I was miserable, but I made a commitment, dammit.
The truth is, I was afraid to be alone. Then I heard my daughter swear she’d never get married. I realized sticking it out wouldn’t win me Mother of the Year. If I wanted my kids to be happy, I would have to show them how.
So I tore off those golden shackles – and found out I wasn’t alone. I had joined a club that I didn’t know existed . I never wanted to join this club, but now I'm glad I did. Everywhere, there are members who have paid their dues, know the secret handshake, and are reaping the benefits of real friendship. Welcome to Club Divorce.
Part One: INITIATION
You know you’re in the Club when…
…you wish you had married for money.
“I hate you,” Diane said. She sat down on the velvet settee her husband had proposed to her on eighteen years earlier. She would miss her grandma’s antique furniture even more than this beautiful Brentwood estate, sold on the verge of foreclosure.
Steve yanked her white cotton briefs down her unshaven legs and over her feet, then tossed them over her shoulder. The flat circle of a poker chip pressed against the straining denim of his pants pocket. “A deal’s a deal.”
“You would know,” she said. He was an asshole, but it was nice to see him on his knees. Plus, she hadn’t had sex in two years. She dropped the legal documents and leaned back until all she could see was the chandelier. At least she wouldn’t have to clean those crystals again, she thought, as his gray head lowered out of sight between her legs. She flinched. A jolt of electricity surged down her naked thigh and burned the sole of her left foot, making her toes cramp.
Her Volvo horn honked from the driveway. She opened her eyes and struggled up to peek out the living room window. The sky above the palm trees was nearly dark.
“The kids are fine,” Steve said.
Diane hesitated, then reached for the collar of his Hawaiian shirt and pulled him up on top of her. He was little heavier than she remembered, but he still had all the right parts. She yanked down his zipper. What harm was there in a quickie? Then his mouth was on hers and he was inside her and it felt so damn good. They had made love 1999 times in this house. Might as well go for a record before they reset the counter to zero. According to those books at Barnes & Noble, she could be there for a very long time. Right now she had an itch the size of Disneyland, and who could resist the Happiest Place on Earth? A sheen of sweat broke out beneath her T-shirt. She felt the warm flush of blood on her chest.
The car horn faded behind the sound of her panting. This was the true meaning of wedded bliss. Steve knew exactly how she liked it: how hard, how fast, even how to make her ears ring.
No, that was her cell phone. Her hand automatically groped for it on the floor.
“Mother,” fifteen-year-old Quinn whined from the car. “What’s taking so long?”
“I’m…coming.” Diane said.
What a woman will do to get her divorce papers signed.
Two minutes and a gulp of water from the kitchen faucet later, Diane dragged a potted palm out the front door of the house. She felt dizzy, but not from the sex. She couldn’t believe this was really happening. That could not possibly be her shaky hand locking the double door for the last time. That was, however, her keychain with the kids’ pictures and the Ralph’s club card attached. Diane wiped her fingers on her sweatpants and pried the house key off. Perfect. Now she had a complete set of broken nails to go with her broken family.
She kissed the Happy Face house key goodbye and put it under the welcome mat for the new owner. Then she looked across the yard to make sure the kids were okay. They waited in the filthy Volvo station wagon parked in the driveway next to the Brentwood Realty sign. The sign was already surrounded by weeds. Diane felt awful when she had to let the gardener go last month, but to hell with the Homeowners Association. Diane was no longer a homeowner.
BONUS BOOK: Wife Goes On: Book of Laughs
This collection of one liners will have every woman who has ever gone through a break up chuckle in recognition. Inspired by the book club success of her novel, Wife Goes On, and the sale of her screenplay Welcome to Club Divorce, Leslie stapled pages of jokes together, and carried them around in the back of her car. Whenever she saw another woman with a suntan mark on her ring finger, she offered it as a gift -and made a new friend. Like Solomon said, “laughter is the best medicine.”
The New You
The Joys of Membership
Contact Leslie for a free ebook. Because you deserve a break.