Are you grateful for your boobs? Last week I asked thousands of people why they love their boobs – I even offered a cute mug as incentive.
After three days….only one person answered.
Surely more than one of us loves our boobs. So why are embarrassed to talk about them? I admit, I was too, until I realized how much they define me. Or rather, how the way other people thought about boobs defined me. How could I feel confident when my boobs were too small, too lopsided, too leaky, too droopy, too big, or too scarred. Sound familiar?
The real problem is that a bunch of dudes decided what they should look like. To be fair, breasts are a physical asset designed to attract the opposite sex for the purpose of mating. The form of those pert, young breasts represents their function to feed the next generation. But form is not function. Size doesn’t matter when it comes to breastfeeding.
But in America, bigger is better. The timely rise of the advertising industry and an affection-starved magazine editor seeking payback for a cheating fiance’ capitalized on the profit to be made by attracting men’s eyeballs. Business exploited this biological instinct. And we have been brainwashed by a bunch of greedy dudes ever since.
So if you don’t love your boobs, it’s time to change your thinking. Breast development is the most obvious evidence of girls becoming women. They are as unique as we are. They literally turn blood into customized immunity-boosted nutrition for our babies. They offer comfort to people we hug. They are a sexual organ whose nerve endings connect to our nether regions. They are part of what makes a woman beautiful.
Many women with breast cancer hate their breasts or consider them ticking time bombs. But most still want this part of their identity enough to endure the pain of reconstruction. Others adorn themselves with tattoo art, or wear their scars as a badge of courage. Breasts are a profound part of being female.
They also provide us with great power. As Miley Cyrus said once while playing a game on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, “I have breasts. I win!” We get to choose how to adorn them, when to hide them and when to flaunt them. What other biological organ has an entire section of accessories at CVS?
If you are watching Season Four of The Crown, keep an eye on Princess Diana. A fashion doyenne, she enjoyed displaying her royal assets in evening dresses. Yet she controlled the narrative by having a matching purse that she called a “cleavage clutch,” to cover herself in awkward moments. Genius, right?
This year, first the first time, we have someone with boobs elected to the white house. On the night she accepted the honor she wore a suffragette-white suit, with a “pussy bow” blouse. The high-necked knot was inspired by past attempts to blend into a man’s word with the semblance of a tie. I can’t wait to see if she shows any cleavage at the Inaugural Ball. Clearly, she is aware of the power of boobs.
Breasts are with us in one shape or another for our entire lives. How we feel about them affects how we feel about ourselves. And that affects everything else.
This is the message of A Boob’s Life. We can’t alter biological instinct. But we can be aware of how our bodies are judged and how we judge others.
We have enough challenges, especially this year. But there is one thing we can all agree on that will make our lives better. Let’s be grateful for our boobs.